Tuesday 31 December 2013
Sunday 29 December 2013
The day when I can't feel my feet
Bottle of beers, shots of tequilas, glass of whiskeys.
It makes me fine for some seconds.. But cannot kill the pain I feel inside.
I thought its gonna be painkillers.. At least for tonight!
I thought everything just gonna be alright
But not at all!!!
White and blue roses.. Blue decorations.. You put your grey suit with blue tie.. White dress! The pictures of happiness.. The pictures of togetherness, picture of love, picture of you..
All look perfect!! On your special day.
It was look perfect for me as well..
But something like tear my Heart apart when I saw it. I try to hide it with my smile and laughter..
I screams and shouts.. But it won't change anything..
And I know it well!
I imagine.. How did you feel when you said.. ' I DO!'
I wanna see how was your face, how your eyes reflect..
Its only me who can see.. Are you really happy or not with that.
My mind is not with me right now.. Its all over the place.. Anywhere.. Everywhere..
Questions.. Questions.. And questions..
And no one able to answer all of those questions!
How come my band members could play those all broken heart songs that I should sing! Damn it! They really know how I feel!
My tears just fell down without something I couldn't explain about it!
Oooh GOD it feel hurt so bad!
One thing..
What stiLl make me smile.. Your messages that I received today!
It is! Today is your big day.. But you still sent me those messages.. Told me how much you miss and how much love me!
I must happy with that? Or I must feel sorry about that?
Well.. Both!
One thing I only know..
You could be with someone else..
but your LOVE is for me..
Give for me
Just for me!
Am I selfish?
Or sounds like... Mmmmm..
whatever...
I don't care!
Your heart, your love is mine..
but still..
I can't hold my tears!!!!
Hiks :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(
* during my short break when I work.. Feel so...... Fuckin annoying!
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It makes me fine for some seconds.. But cannot kill the pain I feel inside.
I thought its gonna be painkillers.. At least for tonight!
I thought everything just gonna be alright
But not at all!!!
White and blue roses.. Blue decorations.. You put your grey suit with blue tie.. White dress! The pictures of happiness.. The pictures of togetherness, picture of love, picture of you..
All look perfect!! On your special day.
It was look perfect for me as well..
But something like tear my Heart apart when I saw it. I try to hide it with my smile and laughter..
I screams and shouts.. But it won't change anything..
And I know it well!
I imagine.. How did you feel when you said.. ' I DO!'
I wanna see how was your face, how your eyes reflect..
Its only me who can see.. Are you really happy or not with that.
My mind is not with me right now.. Its all over the place.. Anywhere.. Everywhere..
Questions.. Questions.. And questions..
And no one able to answer all of those questions!
How come my band members could play those all broken heart songs that I should sing! Damn it! They really know how I feel!
My tears just fell down without something I couldn't explain about it!
Oooh GOD it feel hurt so bad!
One thing..
What stiLl make me smile.. Your messages that I received today!
It is! Today is your big day.. But you still sent me those messages.. Told me how much you miss and how much love me!
I must happy with that? Or I must feel sorry about that?
Well.. Both!
One thing I only know..
You could be with someone else..
but your LOVE is for me..
Give for me
Just for me!
Am I selfish?
Or sounds like... Mmmmm..
whatever...
I don't care!
Your heart, your love is mine..
but still..
I can't hold my tears!!!!
Hiks :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(
* during my short break when I work.. Feel so...... Fuckin annoying!
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Thursday 26 December 2013
Today, tomorrow, that day
Today she is crazy about you but maybe tomorrow she won’t be.
Today she cares for you but maybe tomorrow she won’t.
Today she craves for your time and attention but maybe tomorrow she
won’t even think about you.
A day will come when she will have had enough of crying for you and
chasing you and slowly she will get over you and move on.
And then she will find someone who will gather her and love her with
all her broken pieces and make her smile all over again.
A man who will heal her hurting soul. He will be the man whom she will
never give up on and she will love and respect him more than she
loved you.
That day you will realize that time never comes back for anyone and
you will desperately wish you had let her have you.
You will wish you had given her your time and attention which she was
craving for. SO CHERISH HER LOVE BEFORE SHE IS GONE FOREVER. . . .
Today she cares for you but maybe tomorrow she won’t.
Today she craves for your time and attention but maybe tomorrow she
won’t even think about you.
A day will come when she will have had enough of crying for you and
chasing you and slowly she will get over you and move on.
And then she will find someone who will gather her and love her with
all her broken pieces and make her smile all over again.
A man who will heal her hurting soul. He will be the man whom she will
never give up on and she will love and respect him more than she
loved you.
That day you will realize that time never comes back for anyone and
you will desperately wish you had let her have you.
You will wish you had given her your time and attention which she was
craving for. SO CHERISH HER LOVE BEFORE SHE IS GONE FOREVER. . . .
I know how it feels
According to what I have gone through in my past love relationships,
Love isn’t an easy game!
My past relationships were both good and bad.
But they taught me oodles concerning love.
They gave me a lesson.
I can’t say that I was only a good girl in my past relationships,
No. I also used to be a bad girl & I have also ever been a heart breaker.
I have ever been loved that much.
I have ever been hurt to the fullest.
I have also ever cried for someone just like any other person out there.
I know how it feels to be loved that much.
I know how it feels when you’re heartbroken;
I know how it feels when someone just wakes up and starts to change and eventually dumps you with no good reason.
I know how it feels when you’re addicted to someone you love.
I know how hard it is to quickly let go of someone that you truly loved with all your heart,
I know how it feels to love someone when he or she taking you as an option.
I know how it feels to be cheated on.
I know how it feels to care for someone who doesn’t appreciate…
But all what I can tell you.....
LOVE is not an easy game.
It needs when one is so PATIENT, COMMITTED, UNDERSTANDING, LOYAL, TRUSTWORTHY, FORGIVING, CARING, APPRECIATIVE, HONEST, GOD
FEARING AND WITH A RICH HEART.
So if you have got someone who is at least 50% of that, then love and care about him or her.
Do whatever it takes for both of you to last forever because such people are very rare to find these days. Never let them go over minor issues that can be resolved.
Love them genuinely just like the way they are.
Be proud of them.
Once you let them go.. They are just gone..
And you might regret for the rest of your life!
Love isn’t an easy game!
My past relationships were both good and bad.
But they taught me oodles concerning love.
They gave me a lesson.
I can’t say that I was only a good girl in my past relationships,
No. I also used to be a bad girl & I have also ever been a heart breaker.
I have ever been loved that much.
I have ever been hurt to the fullest.
I have also ever cried for someone just like any other person out there.
I know how it feels to be loved that much.
I know how it feels when you’re heartbroken;
I know how it feels when someone just wakes up and starts to change and eventually dumps you with no good reason.
I know how it feels when you’re addicted to someone you love.
I know how hard it is to quickly let go of someone that you truly loved with all your heart,
I know how it feels to love someone when he or she taking you as an option.
I know how it feels to be cheated on.
I know how it feels to care for someone who doesn’t appreciate…
But all what I can tell you.....
LOVE is not an easy game.
It needs when one is so PATIENT, COMMITTED, UNDERSTANDING, LOYAL, TRUSTWORTHY, FORGIVING, CARING, APPRECIATIVE, HONEST, GOD
FEARING AND WITH A RICH HEART.
So if you have got someone who is at least 50% of that, then love and care about him or her.
Do whatever it takes for both of you to last forever because such people are very rare to find these days. Never let them go over minor issues that can be resolved.
Love them genuinely just like the way they are.
Be proud of them.
Once you let them go.. They are just gone..
And you might regret for the rest of your life!
Wednesday 25 December 2013
Nobody want to
Nobody want to be alone
No body want to be lonely
Nobody want to be an option
Nobody want to be second priority
Nobody want to be forgotten
Nobody want to be sad
Nobody want to be broken hearted
Nobody want to cry
Nobody want to hurt
Nobody want to get ignored
Nobody want to get dumped
Nobody want being replaced
Nobody want being mistress
Nobody want to be stress
Nobody want to be depressed
Nobody want to be hopeless
Nobody want to make a mess
Nobody want to break promises
All they want just happiness
All they want blissfulness
All they want fruitfulness
All they want togetherness
And all i want just happiness!!!
No body want to be lonely
Nobody want to be an option
Nobody want to be second priority
Nobody want to be forgotten
Nobody want to be sad
Nobody want to be broken hearted
Nobody want to cry
Nobody want to hurt
Nobody want to get ignored
Nobody want to get dumped
Nobody want being replaced
Nobody want being mistress
Nobody want to be stress
Nobody want to be depressed
Nobody want to be hopeless
Nobody want to make a mess
Nobody want to break promises
All they want just happiness
All they want blissfulness
All they want fruitfulness
All they want togetherness
And all i want just happiness!!!
Tuesday 24 December 2013
SMILE, Rheta!!!!!
Oooooooops!!!!!!!
Once again.. One more time..
I feel so broken heart..
To watch those things..
It's like a sharp knife stabbing right through my heart when it still beating.. And tear it apart into pieces.. It bleeding..
It's like something choke me up, when i still breathing.. And i feel like breathless..
I can't breath...
It's like a cramp on my stomach.. It's painful.. No its butterflies in my stomach.. It's pain!
It's like a hammer punch on my head when it still thinking.. And make brain stop working..
My brain freeze.. So do the world frozen!
It's like shard of broken glass in the eyes when it still blinking...And the eyes can't even closed..
Tears drop.. Red tears.. Blood tears..
It's like steel nails, nailing my feet when i still walking.. Its sculpting, glued..
I cant move.. Im like a statue
It is HURT!
And i can't blame anyone for this..
It's my fault...
My roomate said..
Stop searching.. You will get hurt even more..
I didn't search it.. It came to me..
stop searching and it will just come.. Like it just happened!
Can i get through this ? All alone?
Yes alone!!! Cuz they dont understand.. Only me understand my self..
I will.. And i can do.. Well.. I do..
I CAN do this!
I Can get through this all alone..
Like what i said.. I will STOP! In time..
When i can't take it anymore..
But for now.. Here i am..
Smiling..
Dear GOD.. Please... Just make the pain lighter..
I will not ask an easy life.. Or painless life..
But.. Give me the strength to get through
The strength.. To keep the pain
The strength to keep my head up high..
The strength to always put smile when my heart cry
The strenght to be patient!
I can be STRONG!
As always :)
SMILE
I don't wanna be right!
One more week in Surabaya..
Next Tuesday will be our last performane at Desperado.
Also last day in 2013.
My 2013 resolution all failed!!!
But.. I also learned a lot from this year..
So many beautiful memories to remind, hard days that i passed, pains that healed, and bad days that i want to forget, just leave it all behind, look and move forward to the future.
And i wish, i hope and i dreams for the best in 2014. Dreams.. make it come true. Finger crossed! :)))
I'm still taking medicine to get much better, i feel better now, after few days not feeling well. Doctor said just too tired, and think too much! Hahahha.. I dont even want to think.. Im already tired to think.
A lot of question on my mind, guessing, assuming.. My brain cant stop working day and night.. Even while asleep.. Tiring!
But.. Thanks God.. My hope still inside me, and i can feel it. It still follow me, stay and faithful to me. Cuz once my hope betray me, i don't know what i could be.
Its make me living and feel grateful until now..
My hope about me, about life, about you, about us, about future, about anything. I wish it will stay forever! I hope ;)
I was thinking about what i have done so far.. Is it wrong, is it right?
When i know its wrong i make excuse to be right..
My mind say its wrong.. My heart even tell me its wrong.. But my feeling is right.. My guts tell me it's not right but tell me not to give up. It is worth to wait!
If loving you is wrong.. I dont wanna be right!!!
It is not blind.. Cuz what you see with your eyes it can cheat you..
But what you feel with your heart it must be true!
I choose which way i will go, where i will walk or run
So i will know where the path will end..
It could be harder than i thought..
It could be rocky.. windy, slippery.. Or just beautiful road to see the sight..
Everything could happens.. But for now.. Let me choose where i go..
Let me choose if i stay.. Or walk away.. Or run away!
I will stop.. When i know i cant do it anymore. I will stop when i know i cant take it anymore
But for now... Im willing to get hurt, to feel the pain to fight something worth for me!
At least i try.. Cuz... You never know when you never try ;)
I just can't wait.. To have my 2014.. New year.. With new you.. New me.. And new us!
It could be..
OUR Year.. Who knows ;)
Next Tuesday will be our last performane at Desperado.
Also last day in 2013.
My 2013 resolution all failed!!!
But.. I also learned a lot from this year..
So many beautiful memories to remind, hard days that i passed, pains that healed, and bad days that i want to forget, just leave it all behind, look and move forward to the future.
And i wish, i hope and i dreams for the best in 2014. Dreams.. make it come true. Finger crossed! :)))
I'm still taking medicine to get much better, i feel better now, after few days not feeling well. Doctor said just too tired, and think too much! Hahahha.. I dont even want to think.. Im already tired to think.
A lot of question on my mind, guessing, assuming.. My brain cant stop working day and night.. Even while asleep.. Tiring!
But.. Thanks God.. My hope still inside me, and i can feel it. It still follow me, stay and faithful to me. Cuz once my hope betray me, i don't know what i could be.
Its make me living and feel grateful until now..
My hope about me, about life, about you, about us, about future, about anything. I wish it will stay forever! I hope ;)
I was thinking about what i have done so far.. Is it wrong, is it right?
When i know its wrong i make excuse to be right..
My mind say its wrong.. My heart even tell me its wrong.. But my feeling is right.. My guts tell me it's not right but tell me not to give up. It is worth to wait!
If loving you is wrong.. I dont wanna be right!!!
It is not blind.. Cuz what you see with your eyes it can cheat you..
But what you feel with your heart it must be true!
I choose which way i will go, where i will walk or run
So i will know where the path will end..
It could be harder than i thought..
It could be rocky.. windy, slippery.. Or just beautiful road to see the sight..
Everything could happens.. But for now.. Let me choose where i go..
Let me choose if i stay.. Or walk away.. Or run away!
I will stop.. When i know i cant do it anymore. I will stop when i know i cant take it anymore
But for now... Im willing to get hurt, to feel the pain to fight something worth for me!
At least i try.. Cuz... You never know when you never try ;)
I just can't wait.. To have my 2014.. New year.. With new you.. New me.. And new us!
It could be..
OUR Year.. Who knows ;)
Sunday 22 December 2013
My mind
Finally done! I will have my day off tomorrow.. Fweeeh felt so hard.. When i must work when i feel not really well! But, like always.. I do all my best.. I jumped.. I dance.. I scream and shout! And they were happy and enjoy the night. Thats all i expected!
Im laying on bed.. Listening my playlist, drinking my hot tea..
And my mind is like flying away.. Not sure where is it now!
Maybe she is at the place where we met..
The first time when had that kiss.. The place when we walked along the beach, hold each other hand!
Or she is at the place when we had our first dinner.. Or the place when we had that dinner at a fancy restaurant.. When you gave that card and gift. When i couldnt even hold my tears when i read the messages you wrote on that card!
Or.. Maybe she is at the place when we had our first tears.. Our arguments.. Or that place when it was hurt me so bad to see that pictures! Hurt me so bad when i knew the truth that.. You......
Or to the place when you said that three magical words!
Or?.???. She's flying to the place when we had that amazing weekend.. When we did something crazy at the pool after amazing dinner!
Or she's at the place when we had amazing time together with your friends and my friends.. Our friends.. Enjoyed the sunset at a beach club, spent time longer at the car than the club. When we had drive around to find which club is open on Sunday..
Or maybe.. She is at the place when you get really pissed off saw me singing.. And get pissed off when i change my clothes and you didn't! A place when you came to surprised me! A short amazing time!
Or.. Maybe she is just here.. The place where i am now! The place that we never make something here. Never make any memories.. Oh no! I made it here! This room.. Know exactly how i pass through the day without you! How many tears i cried!
How we talked when we got drunk!
Well.. Everywhere she goes. There always something about you!
She is flying to memories.. To the moments.. Which is wonderful, incredible and amazing!
Hmmmmm....
Something just accros and popped in hers.. On my mind!
If i stop.. Like what you did!
Would you keep fight like what i did and what i do?
Would you give up like i never did?
Would you stay there like what i do?
Would you say... Please don't go.. Please stay!
And if i walk.. Will you hold my hand and say... Dont go.. Just stay with me!
And if i disappear.. Will you find me?
Im laying on bed.. Listening my playlist, drinking my hot tea..
And my mind is like flying away.. Not sure where is it now!
Maybe she is at the place where we met..
The first time when had that kiss.. The place when we walked along the beach, hold each other hand!
Or she is at the place when we had our first dinner.. Or the place when we had that dinner at a fancy restaurant.. When you gave that card and gift. When i couldnt even hold my tears when i read the messages you wrote on that card!
Or.. Maybe she is at the place when we had our first tears.. Our arguments.. Or that place when it was hurt me so bad to see that pictures! Hurt me so bad when i knew the truth that.. You......
Or to the place when you said that three magical words!
Or?.???. She's flying to the place when we had that amazing weekend.. When we did something crazy at the pool after amazing dinner!
Or she's at the place when we had amazing time together with your friends and my friends.. Our friends.. Enjoyed the sunset at a beach club, spent time longer at the car than the club. When we had drive around to find which club is open on Sunday..
Or maybe.. She is at the place when you get really pissed off saw me singing.. And get pissed off when i change my clothes and you didn't! A place when you came to surprised me! A short amazing time!
Or.. Maybe she is just here.. The place where i am now! The place that we never make something here. Never make any memories.. Oh no! I made it here! This room.. Know exactly how i pass through the day without you! How many tears i cried!
How we talked when we got drunk!
Well.. Everywhere she goes. There always something about you!
She is flying to memories.. To the moments.. Which is wonderful, incredible and amazing!
Hmmmmm....
Something just accros and popped in hers.. On my mind!
If i stop.. Like what you did!
Would you keep fight like what i did and what i do?
Would you give up like i never did?
Would you stay there like what i do?
Would you say... Please don't go.. Please stay!
And if i walk.. Will you hold my hand and say... Dont go.. Just stay with me!
And if i disappear.. Will you find me?
Saturday 21 December 2013
My thought
Have you ever loved someone more than you loved yourself?
Like,you treated them better than you treated yourself, you deal with their bullshit even though you know you shouldn't be.
You stuck with that person even though they didn't deserve you, you forgave them no matter how many times they made a mistake even though they ran out of chances already.
You won't leave that person even though all your friends suggested you to do so.
All because, you wanted to be with them, & nobody else, even though you know you'll be treated
like shit, to you it's worth it.
The truth is, we don't get to choose who we fall for.
The people we fall for, they may mistreat us, ignore us or hurt us, but despite all that, we stay with them.
Why? It's not because we're stupid, it's not because we enjoying getting hurt, it's not because we love setting ourselves up for heartbreak.
It's because we can see the good in them, it's because despite all the arguments, the jealousy, the trust
issues, they are the ones who make us feel a certain way that no one else can & we value that feeling, & it's because our brains won't allow them to leave our minds, & our hearts won't allow them to leave our lives.
Why do I still text you? It’s my choice. It’s my way of saying I remember you.
Why do I remember you? It’s my choice. It proves that I care.
Why do I care? I don’t know. It’s not my choice but my heart’s.
Sometimes, the only reason why you won't let go of what's making you sad is because it was the only thing that made you happy.
And for now.. One thing is really matter and important.. And make me happy..
Is...
To know that someone i think about every single time.. He also think about me!
He makes effort.. To always put a smile on my face
And its just enough for me..
Thank you DJM!
Like,you treated them better than you treated yourself, you deal with their bullshit even though you know you shouldn't be.
You stuck with that person even though they didn't deserve you, you forgave them no matter how many times they made a mistake even though they ran out of chances already.
You won't leave that person even though all your friends suggested you to do so.
All because, you wanted to be with them, & nobody else, even though you know you'll be treated
like shit, to you it's worth it.
The truth is, we don't get to choose who we fall for.
The people we fall for, they may mistreat us, ignore us or hurt us, but despite all that, we stay with them.
Why? It's not because we're stupid, it's not because we enjoying getting hurt, it's not because we love setting ourselves up for heartbreak.
It's because we can see the good in them, it's because despite all the arguments, the jealousy, the trust
issues, they are the ones who make us feel a certain way that no one else can & we value that feeling, & it's because our brains won't allow them to leave our minds, & our hearts won't allow them to leave our lives.
Why do I still text you? It’s my choice. It’s my way of saying I remember you.
Why do I remember you? It’s my choice. It proves that I care.
Why do I care? I don’t know. It’s not my choice but my heart’s.
Sometimes, the only reason why you won't let go of what's making you sad is because it was the only thing that made you happy.
And for now.. One thing is really matter and important.. And make me happy..
Is...
To know that someone i think about every single time.. He also think about me!
He makes effort.. To always put a smile on my face
And its just enough for me..
Thank you DJM!
YOU ARE..
I'm scared..
I'm worry..
That you just change your mind
You will not listen to your heart anymore like you ever did
That's only one thing that scare me a lot
When you just listen to your heart everything would be just fine..
Its not about I can't have the whole of you
Its not about her who will have your status!
Its not about her who will put a ring on your finger
Its not about her who will walk with you at the altar
Its about your feeling for me..
Its about your heart that have me inside
Its about your feeling that you have to share with me
Its about YOU!
If I can ask you to do me a big favor..
Please closed your ear.. That will change your mind
Please listen to you heart!
I don't care..
I don't care when you have to go to YOUR house to see her
As long as we have 'HOME' for US
I don't care if you go to a place when you have to see her
As long as you have a space for US to see each other
I don't care if he can have your body as long as I have your HEART
This sounds crazy!
And indeed is crazy!
You can closed you eyes from the thing that you don't wanna see
You can closed your ears from the things you don't wanna hear
But you can't closed your heart from the things you don't want to feel
Whatever happens.. I won't give up
Cuz I know.. I can't have it anymore
I won't feel this feeling anymore.
It show.. Why it won't work with someone else.. But you!
I won't give on the person that I cant go an hour without thinking about!
I heard so many love songs..
But you are the love song that I never sing
I wrote poem
But you are a poetry that I never wrote before
I plays games
But you are the games that I never played
I taste the flavor
But you are the flavor I never tasted
I have been tested
But you are test that I never took
I take the chances
But you are the chance I never get
I have dreams
But you are the dreams I never had
I love jokes
But you are joke I never got
You are the question I never asked
You are the lie I never knew
You the feeling I never felt
You are the voice
That I won't stop hearing
You are everything!
Stay there !
Please..
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I'm worry..
That you just change your mind
You will not listen to your heart anymore like you ever did
That's only one thing that scare me a lot
When you just listen to your heart everything would be just fine..
Its not about I can't have the whole of you
Its not about her who will have your status!
Its not about her who will put a ring on your finger
Its not about her who will walk with you at the altar
Its about your feeling for me..
Its about your heart that have me inside
Its about your feeling that you have to share with me
Its about YOU!
If I can ask you to do me a big favor..
Please closed your ear.. That will change your mind
Please listen to you heart!
I don't care..
I don't care when you have to go to YOUR house to see her
As long as we have 'HOME' for US
I don't care if you go to a place when you have to see her
As long as you have a space for US to see each other
I don't care if he can have your body as long as I have your HEART
This sounds crazy!
And indeed is crazy!
You can closed you eyes from the thing that you don't wanna see
You can closed your ears from the things you don't wanna hear
But you can't closed your heart from the things you don't want to feel
Whatever happens.. I won't give up
Cuz I know.. I can't have it anymore
I won't feel this feeling anymore.
It show.. Why it won't work with someone else.. But you!
I won't give on the person that I cant go an hour without thinking about!
I heard so many love songs..
But you are the love song that I never sing
I wrote poem
But you are a poetry that I never wrote before
I plays games
But you are the games that I never played
I taste the flavor
But you are the flavor I never tasted
I have been tested
But you are test that I never took
I take the chances
But you are the chance I never get
I have dreams
But you are the dreams I never had
I love jokes
But you are joke I never got
You are the question I never asked
You are the lie I never knew
You the feeling I never felt
You are the voice
That I won't stop hearing
You are everything!
Stay there !
Please..
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Soulmate
Soul mates are for real and believe me there is someone who is made
just for you and for each one of us… just like a perfect key that
fits a lock.
But there are no shortcuts to finding your soul mate. You need to be
patient because you will meet your soul mate only when you are
destined to.
There will be a perfect day and time which will lead you right into
the arms of that person who is destined to be your companion for
life.
When the right time comes you will be drawn to each other just like
magnets and you will unite in a timeless bond of love and passion till
eternity.
Your soul mate won’t be someone who is perfect and flawless but
someone who will change your life completely to take it to another
level of bliss and fulfillment.
Someone who is just perfect for you. . . .
just for you and for each one of us… just like a perfect key that
fits a lock.
But there are no shortcuts to finding your soul mate. You need to be
patient because you will meet your soul mate only when you are
destined to.
There will be a perfect day and time which will lead you right into
the arms of that person who is destined to be your companion for
life.
When the right time comes you will be drawn to each other just like
magnets and you will unite in a timeless bond of love and passion till
eternity.
Your soul mate won’t be someone who is perfect and flawless but
someone who will change your life completely to take it to another
level of bliss and fulfillment.
Someone who is just perfect for you. . . .
Friday 20 December 2013
Waiting
I wake up today with a big smile on my face
And the reason is long messages that i received on my phone
The reason is you!
You were always the one who made me smile, the one who made me laugh.
You were also the one, the reason why i cry.
And now.. You are still the one.. The reason why i smile :)))
I walked to the window, open the curtain.. And hoping that the sun is shinny, but NO!
Its been cloudy and rainy weather lately. And me.. not a big fans of this weather as well.
When this rainy and cold season come.. It would be just fine if there is someone who will always hold my cold hand, or someone who will hug and make cuddle under the blanket on the sofa. Someone who will say.. Everything would be just fine.. Someone who always become the sun on rainy days . Sounds like perfect! Perfect day to dream :-p
Well, all i can do just made my peach Dilmah tea to keep that big Smile on my face :)))
Hmmmm... This tea! Remind me about a place. the last 3 months, i felt sad when something remind me about this place or about anything happened out there. But not this time. It feels good!
I look at my watch.. My favorite one ( i even wear it when i sleep ) and its still 20th of December.
Uuuh.. Its feel like.. The time running so slowly.. It was 2 days ago.. But it feels like 2 weeks!
Eleven days to go.. Until new year.. My farewell party in Surabaya.. And my Bandung! But beside that I'm waiting for another exciting moment. Its 2 more weeks to go.. And its feel like 2 months!
And for you.. Eight more days to go! Exciting?
But I'm sure the closest moment you cant wait is.. Christmas Eve.. ;))
Waiting is always sucks.. But i can wait! Waiting for good things. Waiting for Miracle!
Waiting for you.. To come back in my arms again, to hold my hand and never let it go.
Waiting for you to hold me tightly until i cant breath and never leave
Waiting for all those dreams came true.
When you wait for someone for a few minutes, its "NEED".
When you wait for someone For a few hours its "TRUST".
But, when you wait even though you know they wont come its "TRUE LOVE"
The truth is that I want to be with you every minute of every day.
I know I cant. I know its unrealistic, but maybe one day we can dream together every night.
Its getting colder..
The rain pouring
If i can make one wish for now..
I wanna share this bed and blanket
With you..
And the reason is long messages that i received on my phone
The reason is you!
You were always the one who made me smile, the one who made me laugh.
You were also the one, the reason why i cry.
And now.. You are still the one.. The reason why i smile :)))
I walked to the window, open the curtain.. And hoping that the sun is shinny, but NO!
Its been cloudy and rainy weather lately. And me.. not a big fans of this weather as well.
When this rainy and cold season come.. It would be just fine if there is someone who will always hold my cold hand, or someone who will hug and make cuddle under the blanket on the sofa. Someone who will say.. Everything would be just fine.. Someone who always become the sun on rainy days . Sounds like perfect! Perfect day to dream :-p
Well, all i can do just made my peach Dilmah tea to keep that big Smile on my face :)))
Hmmmm... This tea! Remind me about a place. the last 3 months, i felt sad when something remind me about this place or about anything happened out there. But not this time. It feels good!
I look at my watch.. My favorite one ( i even wear it when i sleep ) and its still 20th of December.
Uuuh.. Its feel like.. The time running so slowly.. It was 2 days ago.. But it feels like 2 weeks!
Eleven days to go.. Until new year.. My farewell party in Surabaya.. And my Bandung! But beside that I'm waiting for another exciting moment. Its 2 more weeks to go.. And its feel like 2 months!
And for you.. Eight more days to go! Exciting?
But I'm sure the closest moment you cant wait is.. Christmas Eve.. ;))
Waiting is always sucks.. But i can wait! Waiting for good things. Waiting for Miracle!
Waiting for you.. To come back in my arms again, to hold my hand and never let it go.
Waiting for you to hold me tightly until i cant breath and never leave
Waiting for all those dreams came true.
When you wait for someone for a few minutes, its "NEED".
When you wait for someone For a few hours its "TRUST".
But, when you wait even though you know they wont come its "TRUE LOVE"
The truth is that I want to be with you every minute of every day.
I know I cant. I know its unrealistic, but maybe one day we can dream together every night.
Its getting colder..
The rain pouring
If i can make one wish for now..
I wanna share this bed and blanket
With you..
Wednesday 18 December 2013
See you!
Love is when you spend a week with someone and then you call them the minute you get home.
It is when you stand behind someone at all times, including when you don't understand or agree with what they are doing.
It is when you want the best for a person even though it may mean that you personally have to sacrifice.
Love is hugs for no reason, tears with no shame, and laughter with no end. It is a feeling you can't put into words, but you recognize it every time you hear 'that' song or go to 'that' place. Love is comfort, happiness, and motivation.
Sometimes we forget just how to love, but all it takes is one special person or thing to make us remember again. Love lives on in memories and dreams; it lives on in our hearts. Life is built on love, and indeed, love was made for you and me.
Its not good bye.. Its see you soon..
I will be strong for you.. Like you try to be strong for me!
Thank you.. For still loving me like what you did.
Thank you.. For bring my life back. Even though i have to wait
But.. Like you know.. I am here.. Stay... Staying! Wait.. Waiting...!
😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘
Take care!
See you soon! Like what you promised me..
Monday 2 December 2013
Only IF! If Only
Its late at night.. Not really that late for me, who always goes to bed around four or five in the morning! Even though on Sunday when i have my only day off when i work, i always sleep at around that time.
Like here.. In Surabaya.. When i have to perform at Desperado, a bar in Shangri-la hotel Surabaya.
I still awake at this time, spending my night off of singing at my room. Do my 'ME' stuff!
I just had a good Sunday like another Sunday i had since i came here.
The day When December just began.. My December! It was not really bad for started ;)
Its just lil bit different than my two last December i have had. Not lil bit actually.. Big different!
My mind just like flew back two years back.. When i need to ran away from rainy season in Bandung to Bali. Ran away from reality that someone broke my heart! When i was single, even now i am single.. Back to live a single life. Walk from the cloud to the light!
Im not lying.. I tell the truth.. And honestly.. It was really great moment when i finally found the light for my life. Which is i thought would be the end of my dark longest night.
But nope! Everything just came to its end.
Regret never come at the beginning.. Cuz when it come at the beginning it call registration.. Lol
If only.. I just follow the path.. I see an amazing things now.
Its just would be perfect!
If only i had more patience.. It would be just perfect!
If only i listen to my heart.. Not to my ambition.. It would be just perfect!!!
Everything screwed up because of my selfishness!
I see it really clear now!
But thats life goes on ;)
If we don't make any mistake we will never learn
If we never fall down we wont know how to stand up
Then my life would just normal and flat and colorless and boring! Hahha
Again i make excuses about what i did wrong! :-p
You are there...
At the same place we met
Eat at the same place we went
Drink at the same bar we went
Watch the sunset, ride motorbike, eat bakso at the beach, drink bintang, lay down at the pool, have suntan, drink at that small bar, massage, hang out at the beach club, and do alot of fun things.
But.. Without me!
Only if!
If only.. Then..... ..... .....
Thanks for came into my life.
And i still have so many great memories to remind about :))))
Enjoy your time.. And have fun!
* don't bring home the massage girl ;) lol
Like here.. In Surabaya.. When i have to perform at Desperado, a bar in Shangri-la hotel Surabaya.
I still awake at this time, spending my night off of singing at my room. Do my 'ME' stuff!
I just had a good Sunday like another Sunday i had since i came here.
The day When December just began.. My December! It was not really bad for started ;)
Its just lil bit different than my two last December i have had. Not lil bit actually.. Big different!
My mind just like flew back two years back.. When i need to ran away from rainy season in Bandung to Bali. Ran away from reality that someone broke my heart! When i was single, even now i am single.. Back to live a single life. Walk from the cloud to the light!
Im not lying.. I tell the truth.. And honestly.. It was really great moment when i finally found the light for my life. Which is i thought would be the end of my dark longest night.
But nope! Everything just came to its end.
Regret never come at the beginning.. Cuz when it come at the beginning it call registration.. Lol
If only.. I just follow the path.. I see an amazing things now.
Its just would be perfect!
If only i had more patience.. It would be just perfect!
If only i listen to my heart.. Not to my ambition.. It would be just perfect!!!
Everything screwed up because of my selfishness!
I see it really clear now!
But thats life goes on ;)
If we don't make any mistake we will never learn
If we never fall down we wont know how to stand up
Then my life would just normal and flat and colorless and boring! Hahha
Again i make excuses about what i did wrong! :-p
You are there...
At the same place we met
Eat at the same place we went
Drink at the same bar we went
Watch the sunset, ride motorbike, eat bakso at the beach, drink bintang, lay down at the pool, have suntan, drink at that small bar, massage, hang out at the beach club, and do alot of fun things.
But.. Without me!
Only if!
If only.. Then..... ..... .....
Thanks for came into my life.
And i still have so many great memories to remind about :))))
Enjoy your time.. And have fun!
* don't bring home the massage girl ;) lol
Saturday 23 November 2013
Coretan Hati Untuk - MU
Aku seperti sedang menonton film dengan cerita yang hampir sama, dengan latar yang berbeda.
Kejadian yang berulang. Dan perasaanku sama.. Aku merasakan hal yang sama seperti waktu itu. Gamang, galau, berkecamuk, campur aduk, sepi, sendiri, kesepian.
Aku seperti jatuh pada lubang yang sama!
Dan itu adalah bodoh! Stupid!
Aku layaknya seekor keledai bodoh yang melakukan kesalahan yang sama berulang - ulang.
Apa memang aku sebodoh itu?
Tuhan... Aku lelah..
Maaf jika aku terlalu banyak kemauan.. Terlalu banyak hal yang ingin aku dapatkan
Maaf jika aku terlalu banyak menuntut.. Terlalu banyak MENGELUH!
Ketika keadaan di luar sana lebih buruk dari keadaanku yang tak seberapa ini.
Maaf jika aku terbuai kemudian lupa untuk mensyukuri apa yang telah banyak Engkau berikan.
Aku tau dan sangat percaya segala rencana Mu adalah Indah. Engkau hanya memberikan yang terbaik untukku. Walaupun aku sama sekali tak tau kapan waktunya akan datang.
Yang perlu aku lakukan hanyalah menunggu dan bersabar bahwa Semua akan Indah pada waktunya.
Aku hanya ingin Engkau mengangkat dan menghilangkan rasa sakit yang aku rasakan teramat sakit di dalam hati.
Aku hanya ingin Engkau menutup telingaku dari hal yang tak perlu aku dengar.
Aku ingin Engkau menutup mataku dari hal yang tak perlu aku lihat.
Namun jika rasa sakit ini bisa membayar dan menghapus rasa sakit orang lain yang pernah aku sakiti di masa lalu. Aku Ikhlas!
jika kata maaf yang pernah saya ucapkan kepada orang - orang yang tersakiti di hari kemarin tak cukup, maka aku ikhlas menerima segala kesakitan ini.
maka besarkanlah hatiku.. Luaskanlah.. Sabarkanlah..
Dan jadikanlah masa depanku lebih indah dari apa yang aku punya sekarang.
Aku hanya akan menjalani dan melakoni skenario hidup yang Engkau tuliskan untukku
Jika aku belum bahagia.. Maka ceritanya belum berakhir.
Engkau Maha Baik..
Tak ada nikmat yang Engkau dustakan..
Buat saya lebih kuat dari sebelumnya
Buat saya lebih mampu mensyukuri apa yang saya pernah punya dan yang saya punyai saat ini.
Buat saya lebih Tegar!
Terima kasih.. Untuk nafas yang masih berhembus!
Tuesday 12 November 2013
THINGS YOU NEED TO STOP DOING TO YOURSELF
1. Stop spending time with the wrong
people
2. Stop running from your problems.
3. Stop lying to yourself
4. Stop putting your own needs on the
back burner.
5. Stop trying to be someone you're
not.
6. Stop being ungrateful.
7. Stop focusing on what you don't
want to happen.
8. Stop trying to hold onto the past.
9. Stop worrying so much.
10. Stop being scared to make a mistake.
11. Stop berating yourself for old
mistakes
12. Stop trying to buy happiness.
13. Stop trying to be everything to
everyone.
14. Stop exclusively looking to
others for happiness.
15. Stop being idle.
16. Stop thinking you are not ready.
17. Stop getting involved in
relationships for the wrong reasons.
18. Stop rejecting new relationships
just because old ones didn't work.
19. Stop trying to compete against
everyone else.
20. Stop being jealous of others.
21. Stop complaining and feeling
sorry for yourself.
22. Stop holding grudges.
23. Stop letting others bring you
down to their level.
24. Stop wasting time explaining
yourself to others.
25. Stop doing the same things over
and over without taking a break.
26. Stop overlooking the beauty of
small moments.
27. Stop trying to make things
perfect.
28. Stop following the path of least
resistance.
29. Stop acting like everything is
fine if it isn't.
30. Stop blaming others for your
troubles.
31. Stop dis respecting your parents
and elders.
32. Stop cheating your neighbor
33. Stop backbiting, lies, fornication
and adultery
34. Stop doing anything negative and
unpleasant.
35. Stop following the path of Devil
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people
2. Stop running from your problems.
3. Stop lying to yourself
4. Stop putting your own needs on the
back burner.
5. Stop trying to be someone you're
not.
6. Stop being ungrateful.
7. Stop focusing on what you don't
want to happen.
8. Stop trying to hold onto the past.
9. Stop worrying so much.
10. Stop being scared to make a mistake.
11. Stop berating yourself for old
mistakes
12. Stop trying to buy happiness.
13. Stop trying to be everything to
everyone.
14. Stop exclusively looking to
others for happiness.
15. Stop being idle.
16. Stop thinking you are not ready.
17. Stop getting involved in
relationships for the wrong reasons.
18. Stop rejecting new relationships
just because old ones didn't work.
19. Stop trying to compete against
everyone else.
20. Stop being jealous of others.
21. Stop complaining and feeling
sorry for yourself.
22. Stop holding grudges.
23. Stop letting others bring you
down to their level.
24. Stop wasting time explaining
yourself to others.
25. Stop doing the same things over
and over without taking a break.
26. Stop overlooking the beauty of
small moments.
27. Stop trying to make things
perfect.
28. Stop following the path of least
resistance.
29. Stop acting like everything is
fine if it isn't.
30. Stop blaming others for your
troubles.
31. Stop dis respecting your parents
and elders.
32. Stop cheating your neighbor
33. Stop backbiting, lies, fornication
and adultery
34. Stop doing anything negative and
unpleasant.
35. Stop following the path of Devil
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Sunday 20 October 2013
ADVICES
1. Guys love to marry an Independent and Matured lady... So instead of sitting there and waiting to be
bluffed by a guy, focus on getting a career that would take you out of the house wife category...
2. Never let the sweet talks of guys deceive you, most
times they just want to go between your legs and run off thereafter.
3. Remove the mentality from your mind that guys
will keep springing up to approach you. The older
you get by the day, the less toasters you will have.
4. Playing 'too' hard to get is the worst thing you should ever start, remember, Nothing lasts forever. If
you still doubt, check out the number of matured
single ladies looking up to GOD FOR A MIRACLE.
5. Never extort things from a guy you don't love,
guys always have ways of paying a girl back, either
through their FRIENDS or total 'PAID' STRANGERS....BE CAREFUL.
6. Never be deceived you can trap a guy through sex. A man will also return to his wife who sex starves him for years once he loves and trust her. You
can never win a man over with your body.
7. If all you take to the relationship is the mind set to
EXTRACT MONEY from him, don't complain if all he ask from you is your body. He has seen you have nothing else to offer...
8. Don't be fooled when Guys tell you they have never met a prettier girl, they will say that same thing
to an 80 year old woman they want to get intimate with.
9. A guy always taking you to the SILVER-BIRD, FAST
FOOD (pizza in or galitos), MALL AND EVENTS AT
CONFERENCE CENTER /NATIONAL THEATRE is no sign
that he loves you, if he doesn't care to ask and PLAN
YOUR FUTURE TOGETHER then you are just his 'SOCIAL
MATE' and nothing else....
10. If the only time he invites you over is when he needs to cook, clean the house and do his laundry,
then just know you are his "executive house help".
11. If he avoids meeting your family and close friends
then it is an obvious sign he is just playing games
with you.
12. Don't always change the tv station from NTV to
CHANNEL O, MTV and Fashion TV. Take time to find
out what is bothering him and how you can help out.
13. If the only places he doesn't frown when you
enter are his bedroom and kitchen then know you aren't welcome (only being used). Have you noticed that most of the ladies that end up
being emotionally abused are the ones at the receiving end...Always with open arms, requesting
for something and ready to receive... The more you widen your arms, the more he widens
your legs... A grown up guy who gives the excuse about his parents being wild when he brings female visitors to
the house is a sign that HE HAS A SERIOUS GIRL AND HAS INTRODUCED HER TO
HIS PARENTS ALREADY... ADVISE YOURSELF...
FINALLY, I ALWAYS SAY THIS AND WILL REPEAT IT AGAIN... It's better to be sitting in a taxi smiling happily than to be in your husband's fresh air conditioned BMW x6 with bruised eyes wearing a
fresh Gucci shades along side a Burberry scarf.... JUST REMEMBER, THAT DATING A RICH MAN DOESN'T
GUARANTEE HAPPINESS IN MARRIAGE... MONEY IS NOT EVERYTHING.....MAKING RIGHT CHOICES IN LIFE IS
WHAT MATTERS MOST...
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bluffed by a guy, focus on getting a career that would take you out of the house wife category...
2. Never let the sweet talks of guys deceive you, most
times they just want to go between your legs and run off thereafter.
3. Remove the mentality from your mind that guys
will keep springing up to approach you. The older
you get by the day, the less toasters you will have.
4. Playing 'too' hard to get is the worst thing you should ever start, remember, Nothing lasts forever. If
you still doubt, check out the number of matured
single ladies looking up to GOD FOR A MIRACLE.
5. Never extort things from a guy you don't love,
guys always have ways of paying a girl back, either
through their FRIENDS or total 'PAID' STRANGERS....BE CAREFUL.
6. Never be deceived you can trap a guy through sex. A man will also return to his wife who sex starves him for years once he loves and trust her. You
can never win a man over with your body.
7. If all you take to the relationship is the mind set to
EXTRACT MONEY from him, don't complain if all he ask from you is your body. He has seen you have nothing else to offer...
8. Don't be fooled when Guys tell you they have never met a prettier girl, they will say that same thing
to an 80 year old woman they want to get intimate with.
9. A guy always taking you to the SILVER-BIRD, FAST
FOOD (pizza in or galitos), MALL AND EVENTS AT
CONFERENCE CENTER /NATIONAL THEATRE is no sign
that he loves you, if he doesn't care to ask and PLAN
YOUR FUTURE TOGETHER then you are just his 'SOCIAL
MATE' and nothing else....
10. If the only time he invites you over is when he needs to cook, clean the house and do his laundry,
then just know you are his "executive house help".
11. If he avoids meeting your family and close friends
then it is an obvious sign he is just playing games
with you.
12. Don't always change the tv station from NTV to
CHANNEL O, MTV and Fashion TV. Take time to find
out what is bothering him and how you can help out.
13. If the only places he doesn't frown when you
enter are his bedroom and kitchen then know you aren't welcome (only being used). Have you noticed that most of the ladies that end up
being emotionally abused are the ones at the receiving end...Always with open arms, requesting
for something and ready to receive... The more you widen your arms, the more he widens
your legs... A grown up guy who gives the excuse about his parents being wild when he brings female visitors to
the house is a sign that HE HAS A SERIOUS GIRL AND HAS INTRODUCED HER TO
HIS PARENTS ALREADY... ADVISE YOURSELF...
FINALLY, I ALWAYS SAY THIS AND WILL REPEAT IT AGAIN... It's better to be sitting in a taxi smiling happily than to be in your husband's fresh air conditioned BMW x6 with bruised eyes wearing a
fresh Gucci shades along side a Burberry scarf.... JUST REMEMBER, THAT DATING A RICH MAN DOESN'T
GUARANTEE HAPPINESS IN MARRIAGE... MONEY IS NOT EVERYTHING.....MAKING RIGHT CHOICES IN LIFE IS
WHAT MATTERS MOST...
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Wednesday 9 October 2013
Random Thoughts
Read before you Sleep!
1:You're not going to get over anyone by trying
to make them jealous.
2:Moving on and letting go isn't easy, but
sometimes you need to start over and be new
again.
3:Don't give up on things when you think you
can fight for it. It's difficult to wait but it's
more difficult to regret.
4:Stop saying ‘I can’t’. You can. You just choose
not to.
5:A real relationship. Has fights. Has trust. Has
faith. Has tears. Has hurt. Has laughter. Has
weird, stupid & unnecessary arguments.
6;Overthinking kills your happiness, insecurities
kills your self esteem, and lies kills your trust.
7;I'm the type of girl that puts on her better
smile, her better outfit, and better attitude and
shows him what he left behind.
8:You're sad? I'll cheer you up.
You're upset? I'd love to listen.
All you have to do is come to me, you know I'll
be there for you.
9: Be amazing. Be good. Be pretty. Be strong.
Be smart. Be cool. But the most important thing
is, be yourself.
10:.Don't beg for anyone to stay in your life. If
they want to be a part of your life, they will
stay.
Good night ;)
1:You're not going to get over anyone by trying
to make them jealous.
2:Moving on and letting go isn't easy, but
sometimes you need to start over and be new
again.
3:Don't give up on things when you think you
can fight for it. It's difficult to wait but it's
more difficult to regret.
4:Stop saying ‘I can’t’. You can. You just choose
not to.
5:A real relationship. Has fights. Has trust. Has
faith. Has tears. Has hurt. Has laughter. Has
weird, stupid & unnecessary arguments.
6;Overthinking kills your happiness, insecurities
kills your self esteem, and lies kills your trust.
7;I'm the type of girl that puts on her better
smile, her better outfit, and better attitude and
shows him what he left behind.
8:You're sad? I'll cheer you up.
You're upset? I'd love to listen.
All you have to do is come to me, you know I'll
be there for you.
9: Be amazing. Be good. Be pretty. Be strong.
Be smart. Be cool. But the most important thing
is, be yourself.
10:.Don't beg for anyone to stay in your life. If
they want to be a part of your life, they will
stay.
Good night ;)
Monday 7 October 2013
Why I'm Single?
So many peoples asked me and wondering why...
Why a woman like me is single?
Is single strange? Is single weird? Or embarassing?
Single is a choice :) ( what a nice excuse.. Lol)
They says im beautiful, sexy, cute, nice and bla bla bla...
Im a singer who will have so many attentions for so many guys..
But why am i single?
Something wrong with me?
With my personality? Not at all!!!
I can describe my self as a good person.. But not perfect of course..
I am just normal person with normal look, not that beautiful like a queen or miss world.
I want a natural beautiful when it come from inside. Only the people who is really special and have the same values who could see this from me :)
Im an independent and strong woman. Who makes my own money and pay my own bills, sometimes i shared what i earns with peoples whose need helps
Im quite intelligent, sweet and caring person, always try to be honest, share the love and kindness with people around, give the best for a special one, be faithful til the high level, when i love someone i will love him the way he is..
But I'm also grumpy when I'm hungry and when i get my period once in a month.
I will get jealous with a logic reasons
I will get mad when something or someone is mine is stolen from my hand
I will be really pissed off when something unfair happening
I will cry when i feel sad or when i get really angry and think that something i cant take it anymore
I will be disappointed when someone broke the promises they made
I will throw candies to peoples who stabbed the knifes on my back ( but i will put poisons inside the candies lol)
I am only human.. Who have good and bad sides.. Like you guys..
I am not an angel.. So forget about that i will charm you with a beautiful wings.. I probably an angel but without wings :)
I am not a princess.. So forget about the beautifulness, being spoiled, asks helps, be manner all the time, i cant even walk like a princess.. I probably a princess.. But a rock and roll princess :)
I am not a house maid! So forget about i will take care of your laundry, your house, cooking you dishes everyday, clean your room, ironing your clothes and all about maids stuff. I probably can do it.. But it will cost you an expensive romantic dinner and sweet gifts :) and you must be a sweet boy who will hug me from behind while i wash a dish :)
The questions are.. Why i still single!???
Because i choose to be single :) and i still pick up some pieces of my broken heart that spreaded averywhere.. Im picking it up piece by piece and try string it up become a whole heart. It would be not a same shape like before.. But the time heal it..
Ironic! Or.. Naive.. Or klise.. Or whatever!
The things is im still waiting for the right one who will make our dream come true to make it real :)
Im still waiting for a guy who can see the values in me..
Not beacuse of my cover.. But about the story to read inside me
Someone who will never make me happy with the lies
Someone.. Someone.. Someone...
Somewhere.. Someday..
Why a woman like me is single?
Is single strange? Is single weird? Or embarassing?
Single is a choice :) ( what a nice excuse.. Lol)
They says im beautiful, sexy, cute, nice and bla bla bla...
Im a singer who will have so many attentions for so many guys..
But why am i single?
Something wrong with me?
With my personality? Not at all!!!
I can describe my self as a good person.. But not perfect of course..
I am just normal person with normal look, not that beautiful like a queen or miss world.
I want a natural beautiful when it come from inside. Only the people who is really special and have the same values who could see this from me :)
Im an independent and strong woman. Who makes my own money and pay my own bills, sometimes i shared what i earns with peoples whose need helps
Im quite intelligent, sweet and caring person, always try to be honest, share the love and kindness with people around, give the best for a special one, be faithful til the high level, when i love someone i will love him the way he is..
But I'm also grumpy when I'm hungry and when i get my period once in a month.
I will get jealous with a logic reasons
I will get mad when something or someone is mine is stolen from my hand
I will be really pissed off when something unfair happening
I will cry when i feel sad or when i get really angry and think that something i cant take it anymore
I will be disappointed when someone broke the promises they made
I will throw candies to peoples who stabbed the knifes on my back ( but i will put poisons inside the candies lol)
I am only human.. Who have good and bad sides.. Like you guys..
I am not an angel.. So forget about that i will charm you with a beautiful wings.. I probably an angel but without wings :)
I am not a princess.. So forget about the beautifulness, being spoiled, asks helps, be manner all the time, i cant even walk like a princess.. I probably a princess.. But a rock and roll princess :)
I am not a house maid! So forget about i will take care of your laundry, your house, cooking you dishes everyday, clean your room, ironing your clothes and all about maids stuff. I probably can do it.. But it will cost you an expensive romantic dinner and sweet gifts :) and you must be a sweet boy who will hug me from behind while i wash a dish :)
The questions are.. Why i still single!???
Because i choose to be single :) and i still pick up some pieces of my broken heart that spreaded averywhere.. Im picking it up piece by piece and try string it up become a whole heart. It would be not a same shape like before.. But the time heal it..
Ironic! Or.. Naive.. Or klise.. Or whatever!
The things is im still waiting for the right one who will make our dream come true to make it real :)
Im still waiting for a guy who can see the values in me..
Not beacuse of my cover.. But about the story to read inside me
Someone who will never make me happy with the lies
Someone.. Someone.. Someone...
Somewhere.. Someday..
Sunday 6 October 2013
Made Man
let's talk about something very important..
As a woman, stupidity is when you sit back
cross-leg and search for an already made man.
In case you don't know, every already made
man out there, has a woman who has been
with him from when he had only a pair of
shorts and a single shirt.
That's why majority of well to do men, usually
make you nothing but a sex- toy, for you
mean absolutely nothing to them.
He might cheat on her with you, but truth is,
he will never leave her for you! If you are
guilty of hunting for an already made man,
then I tell you, my dear you are such a cow,
you actually need horns.
When good healthy brains settles, yours floats!
That man who is head over heels in love with
you right now and you ar taking for granted
this minute...
He may not own a car.
He may not earn a lot of money.
He may not live in a posh estate.
He may not be able to shower you with gifts
all the time.
He may not have a great job.
But it's enough to know you are the only one
he craves for and loves unconditionally...If he
has a heart of gold.
He is Honest.
He is very hard working.He is humble.
He keeps that smile on your face.
He talks to you everyday.
He actually listens to you.Again,
He tolerates you when you're moody.
His family knows you.
He tells you, your beautiful all the time.
He sees you every chance he gets.
He appreciates the tiniest things you do.
He is there, when you need him.
He respects you.
He is proud you are his and likes showing you
off.
And he treats you like a queen,
my dear you are indeed lucky to have him.
He may not have it all now,
but one day he will...
He may not be living his dream now,
but one day he will..
And as he pictures all this, he pictures you.
Ladies, there's no perfect man on earth, never
you forget this fact. Learn to appreciate that
man in your life who strives to be all you
need.
That man who promises you nothing but tries
his utmost best to give you everything.
Ladies, appreciate he that is in you,and to you
men, don't be goats or act like dogs,
appreciate and be all the above to your
women.
Let genuine love lead..........................
Via
Candy
As a woman, stupidity is when you sit back
cross-leg and search for an already made man.
In case you don't know, every already made
man out there, has a woman who has been
with him from when he had only a pair of
shorts and a single shirt.
That's why majority of well to do men, usually
make you nothing but a sex- toy, for you
mean absolutely nothing to them.
He might cheat on her with you, but truth is,
he will never leave her for you! If you are
guilty of hunting for an already made man,
then I tell you, my dear you are such a cow,
you actually need horns.
When good healthy brains settles, yours floats!
That man who is head over heels in love with
you right now and you ar taking for granted
this minute...
He may not own a car.
He may not earn a lot of money.
He may not live in a posh estate.
He may not be able to shower you with gifts
all the time.
He may not have a great job.
But it's enough to know you are the only one
he craves for and loves unconditionally...If he
has a heart of gold.
He is Honest.
He is very hard working.He is humble.
He keeps that smile on your face.
He talks to you everyday.
He actually listens to you.Again,
He tolerates you when you're moody.
His family knows you.
He tells you, your beautiful all the time.
He sees you every chance he gets.
He appreciates the tiniest things you do.
He is there, when you need him.
He respects you.
He is proud you are his and likes showing you
off.
And he treats you like a queen,
my dear you are indeed lucky to have him.
He may not have it all now,
but one day he will...
He may not be living his dream now,
but one day he will..
And as he pictures all this, he pictures you.
Ladies, there's no perfect man on earth, never
you forget this fact. Learn to appreciate that
man in your life who strives to be all you
need.
That man who promises you nothing but tries
his utmost best to give you everything.
Ladies, appreciate he that is in you,and to you
men, don't be goats or act like dogs,
appreciate and be all the above to your
women.
Let genuine love lead..........................
Via
Candy
First Sunday
Good morning World.. GOod morning universe..
Still lying on my comfort bed in Shangri-la hotel Surabaya.
Have a cup of Dilmah,English breakfast tea.
Today, Sunday.. My first day off after 5 days performed, since I arrived on October 1st.
Last night our first Saturday night, great crowd!everybody dance and sweating.
Well, so far everyday always have good crowd but last night Much better than any other day
I have a nice room, share with my partner..the other female singer, and she is my friend.
And we gonna stay here for two months
I checked my phone when I just awake!
And got those messages that a bit annoying to start my morning and my Sunday!
How to react?
The best way to react is No reaction at all!! Keep silent and Ignored!!
No reply back..
As I promised to my self.. I'm done with all of those bullshit!
I'm tired of waiting.. Or expected too much..
I'm tired of being fool
And I feel stupid of being stupid!
I enjoying my life right now.
Enjoying what I do
And grateful of what I have.
Makes a friend and laugh
Dance like nobody watching
Jump high.. Higher!
Scream!! Loud.. And louder
if you think you could make me down! You fucking wrong!
You even make me strong!
Stronger!
Enjoy your fucked up, creepy, boring, fake, full of lies life!
And good luck with that!
Life is a choice
And I chose..
Enjoy my Sunday :) :) :)
Tuesday 1 October 2013
Welcome my 30
Thank You My Lord.. Thank You God.. Thanks Allah..
Alhamdulillah...
That i still breathing.. Still alive.. And survive..
For all the things i had.. For all the things i have.. For all the things i lost and gone.. All the things that i haven't come yet.
For my Health.. My Joy.. Painful.. Hurts.. Happiness.. Bless.. Laughter.. Broken heart..Love.. Tears.. Gifts.. Surprised..
Thanks for trusting me this 29 years.. Thanks for my 29 years i had.
Thanks for giving me 30.. Thanks for my 30 years I will have .
I just hope that i will have another years.. 40.. 50..60..70..90..maybe 100 years
Your blessing is countless..
Even for the pain and hard life i still have to be grateful
Cuz of those things i learnt! You teach me to be a strong person, become stronger. and be a better person.
Thanks for a great family.. Thanks for supported friends.. Thanks for the special guys i had.. Thanks for a special one i don't have right now! And thanks for all who still care about me.. Thanks for you who hates me.. Thanks for you who still love me.
On my 30..
Im not scare to live my life.. My present or My future..
I always ready..
Chances and challenges
Troubles and problems
Goals and Glorious
Hope and dreams..
The dreams is not over...
Happy Birthday..
For me!!!
Dreams, believe and make it happens!
Alhamdulillah...
That i still breathing.. Still alive.. And survive..
For all the things i had.. For all the things i have.. For all the things i lost and gone.. All the things that i haven't come yet.
For my Health.. My Joy.. Painful.. Hurts.. Happiness.. Bless.. Laughter.. Broken heart..Love.. Tears.. Gifts.. Surprised..
Thanks for trusting me this 29 years.. Thanks for my 29 years i had.
Thanks for giving me 30.. Thanks for my 30 years I will have .
I just hope that i will have another years.. 40.. 50..60..70..90..maybe 100 years
Your blessing is countless..
Even for the pain and hard life i still have to be grateful
Cuz of those things i learnt! You teach me to be a strong person, become stronger. and be a better person.
Thanks for a great family.. Thanks for supported friends.. Thanks for the special guys i had.. Thanks for a special one i don't have right now! And thanks for all who still care about me.. Thanks for you who hates me.. Thanks for you who still love me.
On my 30..
Im not scare to live my life.. My present or My future..
I always ready..
Chances and challenges
Troubles and problems
Goals and Glorious
Hope and dreams..
The dreams is not over...
Happy Birthday..
For me!!!
Dreams, believe and make it happens!
Sunday 29 September 2013
When The Last Teardrop Falls
One of my broken heart song.. When The Last Teardrop Falls, from Blaque..Here is the lyrics!
Dedicated for YOU!
Whose broke my heart! :)
It's so hard to lose the one you love
To finally have to say goodbye
You try to be strong but the pain keeps holdin' on
And all that you can do is cry
Deep within your heart you know it's time to move on
When the fairy tale that you once knew is gone
[Chorus:]
When the last tear drop falls
I'll still be holdin' on to all of our memories
And all of what used to be
When the last tear drop falls
I will stand tall
And know that you're here with me in my heart
When the last tear drop falls
So now I'm alone and life keeps movin' on
But my destination still unknown, oh yeah
Will there be a time when I'll fall in love again?
When I was meant to walk these streets alone
If there was just one wish I could be granted here tonight
It would be to have you right back by my side
[Chorus]
Now it's time for me to find my happiness again
And the emptiness from missin' you
Will never ever end, baby
[Chorus]
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Dedicated for YOU!
Whose broke my heart! :)
It's so hard to lose the one you love
To finally have to say goodbye
You try to be strong but the pain keeps holdin' on
And all that you can do is cry
Deep within your heart you know it's time to move on
When the fairy tale that you once knew is gone
[Chorus:]
When the last tear drop falls
I'll still be holdin' on to all of our memories
And all of what used to be
When the last tear drop falls
I will stand tall
And know that you're here with me in my heart
When the last tear drop falls
So now I'm alone and life keeps movin' on
But my destination still unknown, oh yeah
Will there be a time when I'll fall in love again?
When I was meant to walk these streets alone
If there was just one wish I could be granted here tonight
It would be to have you right back by my side
[Chorus]
Now it's time for me to find my happiness again
And the emptiness from missin' you
Will never ever end, baby
[Chorus]
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Sleepy thought
Last night i fell asleep at 9 pm. Surprised me.. Never done that before since i remember this last years. Its a busy week.. Today it must be the last of busy day. And this is the last weekend i have in Bandung. The beginning of October i will be in Surabaya, East Java. Have a contract with my band for two months. Feel excited, even though feel so lazy to pack my bags.
1st of October i will start my first performance at Desperado, a bar at Shangri-la Hotel Surabaya.
1st of October i will start my first life in 30 years old. I will finish my golden age, my 29 year old.
Welcome to the club! Lol
Well, I'm not scare! I am sure it would be different. It would be more colorful. And i will live it like my twenty :)
Im glad that my busy week finally come to an end.. But i will have another one.. And next one..
No pain.. No gain..
Success is a process.. And what i did, what i do what i will do is a process and progress :)
Just got Into my room.. Lying down on my bed.. My blue room.. From my last gig in Bandung before i leave.
Enjoying the last 2 days in my Blue Room..
Too many story here.. Even though i just stay here for about 2 months..
This bed.. This blue wall tell the stories..
The stories that i have to leave behind..
The stories that i have to stop to write..
The stories that i will read it again, one day.. And i will smile on it :)
I really have to go..!
I really have to step out!
And once i decided to walk out the door.. I will never come back again..
Maybe i will come back.. Just to visit when i miss.. But i wont stay..
Cuz..
I am an adventurer..
I don't have home yet to come home..
I don't have a place yet to call it home..
I don't know what it is.. Cuz i never had one..
I had once.. But.. I left it, cuz its not belong to mine, and i didn't deserved it.. So i cant call it as home..
I had once.. But.. I let someone took it.. And call it as hers home.. So i cant call it as home..
But one day..
I will have it.. And Im sure i will say.. I'm going home...
But for now..
I will just stay.. Somewhere.. The places where i could write another story..
Before i found a place.. That i call it HOME! a Place where i could write the rest of the story. With a good ending.. And i will stay there for the rest of my life.. And i wont move anywhere else!
Somewhere.. Someday.. With someone!
1st of October i will start my first performance at Desperado, a bar at Shangri-la Hotel Surabaya.
1st of October i will start my first life in 30 years old. I will finish my golden age, my 29 year old.
Welcome to the club! Lol
Well, I'm not scare! I am sure it would be different. It would be more colorful. And i will live it like my twenty :)
Im glad that my busy week finally come to an end.. But i will have another one.. And next one..
No pain.. No gain..
Success is a process.. And what i did, what i do what i will do is a process and progress :)
Just got Into my room.. Lying down on my bed.. My blue room.. From my last gig in Bandung before i leave.
Enjoying the last 2 days in my Blue Room..
Too many story here.. Even though i just stay here for about 2 months..
This bed.. This blue wall tell the stories..
The stories that i have to leave behind..
The stories that i have to stop to write..
The stories that i will read it again, one day.. And i will smile on it :)
I really have to go..!
I really have to step out!
And once i decided to walk out the door.. I will never come back again..
Maybe i will come back.. Just to visit when i miss.. But i wont stay..
Cuz..
I am an adventurer..
I don't have home yet to come home..
I don't have a place yet to call it home..
I don't know what it is.. Cuz i never had one..
I had once.. But.. I left it, cuz its not belong to mine, and i didn't deserved it.. So i cant call it as home..
I had once.. But.. I let someone took it.. And call it as hers home.. So i cant call it as home..
But one day..
I will have it.. And Im sure i will say.. I'm going home...
But for now..
I will just stay.. Somewhere.. The places where i could write another story..
Before i found a place.. That i call it HOME! a Place where i could write the rest of the story. With a good ending.. And i will stay there for the rest of my life.. And i wont move anywhere else!
Somewhere.. Someday.. With someone!
Tuesday 24 September 2013
YES! Wont deny it!
He broke up with you, right? After telling you he loved you and calling you pet names like baby and cutie? or Sunshine..
Yeah, I know he lavished you in compliments, only to put himself down so you would stroke his fake low ego. DId he tell you that you were beautiful?
I bet he promised you a personalized song.
Or maybe he’d always mentioned how he was lying in bed and wished you were there.
He dragged “I love you” out of you, didn’t he? Yeah, don’t deny it.
He would talk to you last thing at night and first thing in the morning.
He constantly mentioned. losing sleep over you, every night, but we both know he slept like a rock.
He made you love pictures that were just sort of “blah” before. Did you delete those pictures after he broke your heart?
All of your friends hate him now, don’t they?
Remember how happy they were for you?They warned you.
Just remember,it’s okay to cry. And referring to him as “asshole” is perfectly expected.
Because, trust me, you’ll end up talking about him just as often, if not more, than before the break up.
There will be the one time’s and the I remembers,and once you think you’re over him, watch out. You better keep your eyes closed in the hallways, because I promise you, the next time you see him, he’ll be all over some other girl.
A little part of you will want to warn her, but nobody will blame you for hating her and for blaming her for your pain.
Yeah, you’ll compare all guys to him,because aside from the man-whorish, heart-breaker thing, he was perfect.
He was everything you had ever wanted.Or maybe you made that up.
Maybe, the second he started to show interest,you made up this perfect guy in your head, and he just happened to be just like him.
Listen, you will find the perfect guy for you just like everybody says you will, and it will be soon. Okay, so I didn’t believe it either, but I’m starting to.The most important thing though is don’t let him know he hurt you.
Don’t let him know he could have you back in a heartbeat.
Don’t give him that satisfaction.
Make him think you’re completely happy.
When he decides to wave at you like nothing ever happened, wave back, sure. But don’t smile.
Make him think he meant as little to you,as you obviously meant to him.........
Via - Candy
Yeah, I know he lavished you in compliments, only to put himself down so you would stroke his fake low ego. DId he tell you that you were beautiful?
I bet he promised you a personalized song.
Or maybe he’d always mentioned how he was lying in bed and wished you were there.
He dragged “I love you” out of you, didn’t he? Yeah, don’t deny it.
He would talk to you last thing at night and first thing in the morning.
He constantly mentioned. losing sleep over you, every night, but we both know he slept like a rock.
He made you love pictures that were just sort of “blah” before. Did you delete those pictures after he broke your heart?
All of your friends hate him now, don’t they?
Remember how happy they were for you?They warned you.
Just remember,it’s okay to cry. And referring to him as “asshole” is perfectly expected.
Because, trust me, you’ll end up talking about him just as often, if not more, than before the break up.
There will be the one time’s and the I remembers,and once you think you’re over him, watch out. You better keep your eyes closed in the hallways, because I promise you, the next time you see him, he’ll be all over some other girl.
A little part of you will want to warn her, but nobody will blame you for hating her and for blaming her for your pain.
Yeah, you’ll compare all guys to him,because aside from the man-whorish, heart-breaker thing, he was perfect.
He was everything you had ever wanted.Or maybe you made that up.
Maybe, the second he started to show interest,you made up this perfect guy in your head, and he just happened to be just like him.
Listen, you will find the perfect guy for you just like everybody says you will, and it will be soon. Okay, so I didn’t believe it either, but I’m starting to.The most important thing though is don’t let him know he hurt you.
Don’t let him know he could have you back in a heartbeat.
Don’t give him that satisfaction.
Make him think you’re completely happy.
When he decides to wave at you like nothing ever happened, wave back, sure. But don’t smile.
Make him think he meant as little to you,as you obviously meant to him.........
Via - Candy
Monday 23 September 2013
Where are You?
"I am not desperate for a relationship,
but I do miss the feeling of having someone that can make me smile and feel appreciated.
Someone that can make calling and texting me the first and last thing they do everyday.
Someone that will be there to hold me when I feel vulnerable.
Someone that will look past my defects/flaws and love me for who I am.
Someone that will give me butterflies in my stomach every time we're together.
Someone that I can call mine."
I wanna fall in Love all over again.. With the same person, with the same guy.
When i just wake up in the morning this person will be the first thing popped on my mind
And the last thing i think about when i closed my eyes.
Still Love him even though he make the silly stupid things
Holding his hand and show the world how proud i am to have him as mine
Make and give surprise even not on special occasion
Share the feeling, share a good moment, fight and survive on bad situation
I don't know if i can found this kind of person in this crazy world
I don't know where to find..
I am still waiting..
For HIM to come into my life..
And welcoming with a big warm hug
Hey.. YOU!
Where are you now?
but I do miss the feeling of having someone that can make me smile and feel appreciated.
Someone that can make calling and texting me the first and last thing they do everyday.
Someone that will be there to hold me when I feel vulnerable.
Someone that will look past my defects/flaws and love me for who I am.
Someone that will give me butterflies in my stomach every time we're together.
Someone that I can call mine."
I wanna fall in Love all over again.. With the same person, with the same guy.
When i just wake up in the morning this person will be the first thing popped on my mind
And the last thing i think about when i closed my eyes.
Still Love him even though he make the silly stupid things
Holding his hand and show the world how proud i am to have him as mine
Make and give surprise even not on special occasion
Share the feeling, share a good moment, fight and survive on bad situation
I don't know if i can found this kind of person in this crazy world
I don't know where to find..
I am still waiting..
For HIM to come into my life..
And welcoming with a big warm hug
Hey.. YOU!
Where are you now?
I DEDICATE THIS TO ALL WHO ARE IN LOVE
A real relationship must have simple fights,trust, faith, tears, and genuine laughter. Jealous,Communication, patience, weird/stupid unnecessary arguments; no hiding secrets, true love and most importantly there must beforgiveness on both sides.
No one is perfect on earth, we all make mistakes in our relationships but the best solution is to accept your mistakes and say SORRY to your loved one.
It’s a small word but it means a lot.
Many of us find it so hard to say it out yet it costs nothing, but it only eases the tension between lovers. Say it from deep inside yourheart.
Don’t fake it please but just mean it always.
And if he/she is the one in wrong never get tired of forgiving him/her depending on what they have done. If you get to think of moving on because you’re pissed, my dear think of where you’re going, the time you will take to find & fitin a new relationship.
The imperfectness you will find with that new lover might be incomparable to the one you dumped, then you will start regretting and wishing you never dumped her/him.
Think about it my dear friends having it in minds that
WE HAVE GOT NO ANGELS ON EARTH.
We’re the ones to transform our BFs/GFs to belike angels.
So be proud of the one you have got and fightall the challenges that are trying to tear you apart.
Right now you may be seeing your guy/girl as a fake person but some dude/girl is somewhere seeing him as a handsome king/beautiful queen.
They’re wishing and praying you fall apart forthem to replace you.
THINK ABOUT IT
No one is perfect on earth, we all make mistakes in our relationships but the best solution is to accept your mistakes and say SORRY to your loved one.
It’s a small word but it means a lot.
Many of us find it so hard to say it out yet it costs nothing, but it only eases the tension between lovers. Say it from deep inside yourheart.
Don’t fake it please but just mean it always.
And if he/she is the one in wrong never get tired of forgiving him/her depending on what they have done. If you get to think of moving on because you’re pissed, my dear think of where you’re going, the time you will take to find & fitin a new relationship.
The imperfectness you will find with that new lover might be incomparable to the one you dumped, then you will start regretting and wishing you never dumped her/him.
Think about it my dear friends having it in minds that
WE HAVE GOT NO ANGELS ON EARTH.
We’re the ones to transform our BFs/GFs to belike angels.
So be proud of the one you have got and fightall the challenges that are trying to tear you apart.
Right now you may be seeing your guy/girl as a fake person but some dude/girl is somewhere seeing him as a handsome king/beautiful queen.
They’re wishing and praying you fall apart forthem to replace you.
THINK ABOUT IT
Sunday 22 September 2013
43 THINGS A GIRL WISHED HER BOYFRIEND KNEW !!
#1 When you break her heart, the pain never
really goes away.
#2 When she misses you, she's hurting inside.
#3 When she says it's over, she still wants you
to be hers.
#4 When she walks away from you mad, follow
her.
#5 When she stares at your mouth, kiss her.
#6 When she pushes or hits you, grab her tight
& don't let her go.
#7 When she starts cursing at you, kiss her and
tell her you love her.
#8 When she ignores you, give her your
attention.
#9 When she pulls away, pull her back.
#10 When you see her at her worst, tell her
she's beautiful.
#11 When you see her crying, just hold her and
don't say a word.
#12 When you see her walking, sneak up and
hug her waist from behind.
#13 When she's scared, protect her.
Friday 20 September 2013
That’s enough for me
I knew that I would be shattered for life when I said goodbye to you.
It was the saddest day of my life when we had to part and move on.
But somehow I feel no one can take the place I have for you in my heart.
I have loved you from the depths of my heart and soul.
But I know sometimes it’s better to let go and not force your loved ones to stay no matter how miserable you feel.
Now that we are not together and maybe we are not even destined to be. I still have a lot of love for you deep in my heart and soul.
I like to think that somewhere out there in the outer space on an unknown planet there might be two loving souls exactly like you and me made for each other are together and wrapped in each others arms. This loving thought gives me peace and tranquility. I am happy that somewhere, we’re still together. That’s enough for me..
It was the saddest day of my life when we had to part and move on.
But somehow I feel no one can take the place I have for you in my heart.
I have loved you from the depths of my heart and soul.
But I know sometimes it’s better to let go and not force your loved ones to stay no matter how miserable you feel.
Now that we are not together and maybe we are not even destined to be. I still have a lot of love for you deep in my heart and soul.
I like to think that somewhere out there in the outer space on an unknown planet there might be two loving souls exactly like you and me made for each other are together and wrapped in each others arms. This loving thought gives me peace and tranquility. I am happy that somewhere, we’re still together. That’s enough for me..
Wednesday 18 September 2013
I'll Be Back!
Life is always a mystery.. Secret to reveal..
We never know or could guess what gonna happens..
Even though sometimes we could have intuition what could happens, when its really happened we always surprise! We never ready for the worst! Or we could be really happy for the best!
When something bad happened we can chose that it could make us down or take as a lesson to be a better and stronger person in the future, on next chapter, or in another story of life.
Cuz.. Its not just happened without any reasons!
When something good happened maybe its just our time to shine, to paid the pain we felt before, get serves what we deserve. And take it as a lesson as well to be grateful. That there are happines after sadness. The morning after dark, blue skies and Beautiful rainbow after rains.
Life is always complicated.. And hard, and sometimes not fair! If we think it is! The life it self isn't that complicated, if we make it simple.. If we take it easy.
But most of us think too much about it! Make it too complicated to live or to fight and survive!
I am sure you will say, Its ' easy to say'.. But so hard to put it and proves it in a real life.
Indeed!
Cuz i am just the same like the most people does! Make this life not as simple as that!..
Sometimes we just hope and expect too much for the things that we already know the answer is NO, but we also know that is much better than lose hope and stop dreaming.. Cuz if we stop we also get nothing!
And sometimes we denied and too proud to accepts for the things that we already know the answer is YES, we closed our mind, eyes and heart, lies to our self to the right and good things that we don't wanna feel. But we also know that is much better than expect too much then get hurt again and again.. Cuz if we expect too much we also know that we will get disappointed!
Complicated isn't it?
Yes.! Cuz.. We think too much! We are just another arogants and selfish creatures whose always want to be perfect, get and have something perfect! And we dont even perfect or do perfect for another!
Nothing is perfect! No one is perfect!
The only thing is.. Be grateful!
Well.. Its time for me to come back to my routine, daily and challanges that already facing me tomorrow!
I always ready for that.. Cuz i still want to learn!
Good bye Bali.. Sun.. Beaches..
Thanks for always surprising me with your exotic, peaceful and warm place!
I will be back! For sure! One day! Soon!
We never know or could guess what gonna happens..
Even though sometimes we could have intuition what could happens, when its really happened we always surprise! We never ready for the worst! Or we could be really happy for the best!
When something bad happened we can chose that it could make us down or take as a lesson to be a better and stronger person in the future, on next chapter, or in another story of life.
Cuz.. Its not just happened without any reasons!
When something good happened maybe its just our time to shine, to paid the pain we felt before, get serves what we deserve. And take it as a lesson as well to be grateful. That there are happines after sadness. The morning after dark, blue skies and Beautiful rainbow after rains.
Life is always complicated.. And hard, and sometimes not fair! If we think it is! The life it self isn't that complicated, if we make it simple.. If we take it easy.
But most of us think too much about it! Make it too complicated to live or to fight and survive!
I am sure you will say, Its ' easy to say'.. But so hard to put it and proves it in a real life.
Indeed!
Cuz i am just the same like the most people does! Make this life not as simple as that!..
Sometimes we just hope and expect too much for the things that we already know the answer is NO, but we also know that is much better than lose hope and stop dreaming.. Cuz if we stop we also get nothing!
And sometimes we denied and too proud to accepts for the things that we already know the answer is YES, we closed our mind, eyes and heart, lies to our self to the right and good things that we don't wanna feel. But we also know that is much better than expect too much then get hurt again and again.. Cuz if we expect too much we also know that we will get disappointed!
Complicated isn't it?
Yes.! Cuz.. We think too much! We are just another arogants and selfish creatures whose always want to be perfect, get and have something perfect! And we dont even perfect or do perfect for another!
Nothing is perfect! No one is perfect!
The only thing is.. Be grateful!
Well.. Its time for me to come back to my routine, daily and challanges that already facing me tomorrow!
I always ready for that.. Cuz i still want to learn!
Good bye Bali.. Sun.. Beaches..
Thanks for always surprising me with your exotic, peaceful and warm place!
I will be back! For sure! One day! Soon!
Sunday 15 September 2013
I am!
I am the new woman.
I am a born fighter.
You can bend me sometimes for your selfish motives but you can never break me because I am invincible.
I am not jealous of any one because I am very confident about my own capabilities.
I believe that there is nothing in this world which I cannot accomplish because nothing can stop me from being an achiever in any field I want to master.
I will not allow anyone to manipulate me or belittle my soul with deceitful conduct.
I will not allow anyone to define or change me because I am free spirited and I have my own unique personality.
I know how to fight back and survive on my own terms.
If I am shattered I come back even stronger because I am determined to be a survivor and not a victim.
Each day the challenges of life deepen the conviction in my soul and make me more determined to achieve my goals ....
..............................
I am a born fighter.
You can bend me sometimes for your selfish motives but you can never break me because I am invincible.
I am not jealous of any one because I am very confident about my own capabilities.
I believe that there is nothing in this world which I cannot accomplish because nothing can stop me from being an achiever in any field I want to master.
I will not allow anyone to manipulate me or belittle my soul with deceitful conduct.
I will not allow anyone to define or change me because I am free spirited and I have my own unique personality.
I know how to fight back and survive on my own terms.
If I am shattered I come back even stronger because I am determined to be a survivor and not a victim.
Each day the challenges of life deepen the conviction in my soul and make me more determined to achieve my goals ....
..............................
Wednesday 11 September 2013
I am Ready
I am ready..
To rock someone world!
I am ready..
To make someone world turn up and down!
I am ready ..
To make a butterfly effect on someone stomach
I am ready..
To create a big smiles on someone face
I am ready..
To make someone heart beat fast
I am ready..
To give feeling that someone is the lucky one ever
I am ready..
To make someone sweating, do fun exercises and getting crazy
I am ready..
To bring someone fly to heavens
I am ready..
To be the one for someone
I am ready..
To build a strong castle as a princess for a prince in our kingdom
I am ready..
To stay and wait be patient, and have a good attitude while waiting
But..
I am not ready..
To feel those pains and hurts again..
But i am still here.. Staying.. Waiting.. That someone to come..
The right person on the right time on the perfect moment
Smile.. :-p
To rock someone world!
I am ready..
To make someone world turn up and down!
I am ready ..
To make a butterfly effect on someone stomach
I am ready..
To create a big smiles on someone face
I am ready..
To make someone heart beat fast
I am ready..
To give feeling that someone is the lucky one ever
I am ready..
To make someone sweating, do fun exercises and getting crazy
I am ready..
To bring someone fly to heavens
I am ready..
To be the one for someone
I am ready..
To build a strong castle as a princess for a prince in our kingdom
I am ready..
To stay and wait be patient, and have a good attitude while waiting
But..
I am not ready..
To feel those pains and hurts again..
But i am still here.. Staying.. Waiting.. That someone to come..
The right person on the right time on the perfect moment
Smile.. :-p
Monday 9 September 2013
I still the same! Its me!
Sorry that i didn't tell you that much about my life on this couple months..
And you do the same things.. I don't know that much about your life right now
Sorry that it probably hurt you as well..
But i did that cuz of so many reasons
Some people told me.. Maybe you moved on.. But i know for sure you can not!
Even i really want you to open your heart for somebody else..
Im so sorry that you don't even know where i live or stay right now..
But i thought you don't wanna know about me no more..
Day by day.. Life is changed.. And my life as well..
People changes..And maybe me for some part.. Because pain.. Changes people !
But I'm still me.. I always be my self..
I still love drink tea in the morning.. And most of the time like you know, i left half of it.. And i only drink half of it!
I still love drink beer when i go to a bar or when i have a break of my gigs, or when hang outs with my friends. And you know that i love mojito and tequila if i want lil' bit tipsy!
I still love my cigarettes.. But i had a plan to quit.. At least reduce it!
I still love playing games, but not that much recently.. Cuz my mind lil bit fucked up lately.. I cant even concentrate on my games.. I even left my pigs without feeding them, they cant produce any bacons. I left my cows, my horses and my dogs and cats.. Kinda miss them.. I have notifications.. That my farm is missing me.. They are missing me..
But i still playing candy crush.. Its just perfect for killing time! Although i got stuck for too long on the same level right now! ( pissed me off!)
I still love Bakso.. Thats for sure! My favorite food ever! And I'm kinda miss that blue Bakso stall in
Bali served sweet, spicy and sour soup! I still remember this 3B! Bakso, Beer and Beach! LOL
I still love Beach, sun and sunset! And still.. The best place to enjoy all of this is Bali! And i miss Bali a lot right now! I just wanna run away there!
I still love sex and love making things, For sure.. But now just different! My favorite position is 9.. Thats me.. Curled up on my bed.. Alone . LOL
Instill learns my songs for rehearse,, cuz thats what i do and my passion for life. Music!
And all the rest about me that you know really well.. All still the same!
Something that might be different..
I wrote my own songs.. Well, i did before. and you know this song as well. But now those songs
more really 'me'!
I didn't took that much pictures on my phone. I still do capture my own pictures, but not that much
as before!
I eat chocolate a lot than before! First for gaining my weight.. And second.. As my mood booster!
I stay at a new place.. But still In Bandung for now. I have a blue room that i paint by my self.
I am back with Orangepop.. But some members are changed.. And now is much more fun to work together with those guys.. And i am a leader of this group.and im doing a new project, its like theatrical show. Im sure you will like it. Goona show you someday about this new project! Just wish me good luck ;)
I dont use skype that much right now.. Or use it that long.. Nobody i can talk that long in there.
I have a curly hair.. Which is you dont like that much.. Because you prefer my straight hair. But i promise you.. I look good on that ;)
I have a tan skin.. Much more brown than before.. And im sure you would love it. Even i know you always love me the way i am.
I dont use the cactus that much for now.. Cuz you know its already broken and i need plant a new one to make it grow.. Aww :-p
Thats all i can say for now..
But one thing for sure... You always have a special place in my heart.. Like i told you.. Nobody can love the way you love me! But maybe one day.. Someone will replace you! But still.. You are still specials
One more thing.. Sorry! And i mean it!
And you do the same things.. I don't know that much about your life right now
Sorry that it probably hurt you as well..
But i did that cuz of so many reasons
Some people told me.. Maybe you moved on.. But i know for sure you can not!
Even i really want you to open your heart for somebody else..
Im so sorry that you don't even know where i live or stay right now..
But i thought you don't wanna know about me no more..
Day by day.. Life is changed.. And my life as well..
People changes..And maybe me for some part.. Because pain.. Changes people !
But I'm still me.. I always be my self..
I still love drink tea in the morning.. And most of the time like you know, i left half of it.. And i only drink half of it!
I still love drink beer when i go to a bar or when i have a break of my gigs, or when hang outs with my friends. And you know that i love mojito and tequila if i want lil' bit tipsy!
I still love my cigarettes.. But i had a plan to quit.. At least reduce it!
I still love playing games, but not that much recently.. Cuz my mind lil bit fucked up lately.. I cant even concentrate on my games.. I even left my pigs without feeding them, they cant produce any bacons. I left my cows, my horses and my dogs and cats.. Kinda miss them.. I have notifications.. That my farm is missing me.. They are missing me..
But i still playing candy crush.. Its just perfect for killing time! Although i got stuck for too long on the same level right now! ( pissed me off!)
I still love Bakso.. Thats for sure! My favorite food ever! And I'm kinda miss that blue Bakso stall in
Bali served sweet, spicy and sour soup! I still remember this 3B! Bakso, Beer and Beach! LOL
I still love Beach, sun and sunset! And still.. The best place to enjoy all of this is Bali! And i miss Bali a lot right now! I just wanna run away there!
I still love sex and love making things, For sure.. But now just different! My favorite position is 9.. Thats me.. Curled up on my bed.. Alone . LOL
Instill learns my songs for rehearse,, cuz thats what i do and my passion for life. Music!
And all the rest about me that you know really well.. All still the same!
Something that might be different..
I wrote my own songs.. Well, i did before. and you know this song as well. But now those songs
more really 'me'!
I didn't took that much pictures on my phone. I still do capture my own pictures, but not that much
as before!
I eat chocolate a lot than before! First for gaining my weight.. And second.. As my mood booster!
I stay at a new place.. But still In Bandung for now. I have a blue room that i paint by my self.
I am back with Orangepop.. But some members are changed.. And now is much more fun to work together with those guys.. And i am a leader of this group.and im doing a new project, its like theatrical show. Im sure you will like it. Goona show you someday about this new project! Just wish me good luck ;)
I dont use skype that much right now.. Or use it that long.. Nobody i can talk that long in there.
I have a curly hair.. Which is you dont like that much.. Because you prefer my straight hair. But i promise you.. I look good on that ;)
I have a tan skin.. Much more brown than before.. And im sure you would love it. Even i know you always love me the way i am.
I dont use the cactus that much for now.. Cuz you know its already broken and i need plant a new one to make it grow.. Aww :-p
Thats all i can say for now..
But one thing for sure... You always have a special place in my heart.. Like i told you.. Nobody can love the way you love me! But maybe one day.. Someone will replace you! But still.. You are still specials
One more thing.. Sorry! And i mean it!
Coming Soon
No matter what pain you've been through, your tears will dry, your broken heart will heal,
and somewhere out there the person who truly cares is waiting for you...
That person will come into your life and he or she will permanently be yours.
That person will never make you cry, plead and lack.
He or she will never get tired of forgiving you;
He or she will always be there for you,
appreciate everything you do for him or
her, respect you, care about you and return all your love.
That person won't be with fear of introducing you to his or her parents and friends.
That person will be proud of what you are.
That lonely heartbroken person is also out there looking for you
so don’t hate love because of the current situation you’re going through and don’t lose hope.
God will help you find someone that you deserve someday.
For all singles.. For all broken hearted, for you who lose hope..
Don't stop believing..
All your suffering will change into happiness.. Sooner or later..
Via - Candy
and somewhere out there the person who truly cares is waiting for you...
That person will come into your life and he or she will permanently be yours.
That person will never make you cry, plead and lack.
He or she will never get tired of forgiving you;
He or she will always be there for you,
appreciate everything you do for him or
her, respect you, care about you and return all your love.
That person won't be with fear of introducing you to his or her parents and friends.
That person will be proud of what you are.
That lonely heartbroken person is also out there looking for you
so don’t hate love because of the current situation you’re going through and don’t lose hope.
God will help you find someone that you deserve someday.
For all singles.. For all broken hearted, for you who lose hope..
Don't stop believing..
All your suffering will change into happiness.. Sooner or later..
Via - Candy
Sunday 8 September 2013
Morning thought
I just don't understand why..
When the guy said ' I Love You' or i still love you very deep... But they don't even fight for it! They decided to go with another woman. And still able to say these 3 words to another woman!
They lies to himself. They closed their heart to something they don't wanna feel.
Or its just another bullshit.. Another lies ? Cuz.. When they meant it! They will prove it by act!
They judge us about something we did! They don't even know how hard the time we've been thru..
They think we always wrong.. They think we make drama.. They think we are childish.. They think we are too weak..
But they don't even know what we did for them.. They don't know the story behind the scene!
So.. What i know now..
These kind of guys really don't deserve a True love.. A real love..
These kind of guys who think they have big love enough to share with not only one woman.
These kind of guys who think about their own life, without thinking they hurt someone else heart!
On my opinion.. And my thought..
I deserve better than this kind of guys!
I just realized.. I did the right things.. To the wrong guy!
But still..
I wishing them.. A real happiness..
You know about KARMA?
It doesn't have any menu.. You will get serves what you deserve..
Just wait.. It will come.. Sooner or later.. Or maybe.. Instantly..
And Good Luck with that!
When the guy said ' I Love You' or i still love you very deep... But they don't even fight for it! They decided to go with another woman. And still able to say these 3 words to another woman!
They lies to himself. They closed their heart to something they don't wanna feel.
Or its just another bullshit.. Another lies ? Cuz.. When they meant it! They will prove it by act!
They judge us about something we did! They don't even know how hard the time we've been thru..
They think we always wrong.. They think we make drama.. They think we are childish.. They think we are too weak..
But they don't even know what we did for them.. They don't know the story behind the scene!
So.. What i know now..
These kind of guys really don't deserve a True love.. A real love..
These kind of guys who think they have big love enough to share with not only one woman.
These kind of guys who think about their own life, without thinking they hurt someone else heart!
On my opinion.. And my thought..
I deserve better than this kind of guys!
I just realized.. I did the right things.. To the wrong guy!
But still..
I wishing them.. A real happiness..
You know about KARMA?
It doesn't have any menu.. You will get serves what you deserve..
Just wait.. It will come.. Sooner or later.. Or maybe.. Instantly..
And Good Luck with that!
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