A year ago

I've been really down , broken , psychically mentally sick and exhausted .
I'm riding a roller coaster of my emotions.
I've been feeling Ups and down for this past two months .
I'm acting like crazy .
I feel sad and lonely .
Most of my days are dark, cold and hungry.
My nights even rough, drunken and sleepless.
My eyes are watery without a shoulder to cry on . My mouth is dry without someone to rely on.
My head has too much to think about , my heart has too much to feel and my ears has too much to hear.
My right hand give a lot while my left hand get nothing .
My right foot want to walk to the future with full of hopes while my left foot just standing here and it could not even move .
My memories love someone too much, it keep calling the same person for 24/7
I keep holding on the rope that I have to let it go .
I keep holding it although my hands are hurting and bleeding .
Then ...
I touched my low, the lowest of me ..
and it said that I have to get up
and not giving up !
So then .. I stand up ....
see the world with my head up high
Then ... you learned so many things from your black dark times that you've been through.
Which one is the blessing friend.
and which one is the lesson friend .
Which one is your beginning and which one is your end.
Then you have to accept everything with your open hand .
I almost got betrayed by my hope
But all I know the only answer is Love ❤️

( Thanks to you who always be there for me no matter what 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼  God Bless you !🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 )


Arheta  - 14102016

I am

I am the water running through the river to catch the Ocean
I am the Ocean it's calm it's stormy it's tidal
I'm the fire eating the logs to keep you warm
I'm the candle eating myself to keep you out of the dark
I am black - it goes with everything
I am white , I get judged being dirty by a lil stain
I'm a sinner with a soul apparently
I'm a dreamer who's afraid of the dream comes true
I'm a minute hand on your clock ticking out loud on silence
I am 9 a.m Person with a sour expression
I am a4 a. m head and Heart interaction
And I am your 2 a. m satisfaction
I'm a cigarette who will burn your lunges at 6 am
I'm a cheese in between of bacon and ham
I'm a headache who will make your brain cramp
I am a pain and a pleasure on your right hand

I'm a peanut
I'm a salmon  ( you're allergic to them )
I'm a chocolate
I'm a watermelon ( I know that you like em' )

I'm a lighter
I'm an ashtray
I'm a weed
I'm a roll paper

I am who I am
I am me
I am your attitude
I am the way you treat me

Arheta - 4am thought 12102017

Let us Go

And when the rain pouring down late at night
I wish I could have your arms to hold me tight
And when the tears falling down
I wish I could have your shoulder to lean my head upon
But you're not here , my other side is empty
I'll be there for you - you said to me
But I always cry by myself ,Wipe my own tears
Waking up beside you , I've been dreaming for years
Hoping you'll be here , but I was all alone
One day you'll be here , but I might be gone

They say Promises made to be broken
I guess my heart too meant to be broken
How many chances I have been given
Too many sorry I heard -  all is forgiven

But This time I have to say No
I gotta let you go , you gotta let me go
We both know we can't keep saying Hello
We both know you keep me in the sorrow
And we both know the time will come , today or tomorrow
That we gotta let things go
Slip away , from our fingers , from our hands
We can't hold on into
We gotta let us go

Arheta - October 3rd 2017