The day when I can't feel my feet

Bottle of beers, shots of tequilas, glass of whiskeys.
It makes me fine for some seconds.. But cannot kill the pain I feel inside.
I thought its gonna be painkillers.. At least for tonight!
I thought everything just gonna be alright
But not at all!!!

White and blue roses.. Blue decorations.. You put your grey suit with blue tie.. White dress! The pictures of happiness.. The pictures of togetherness, picture of love, picture of you..
All look perfect!! On your special day.
It was look perfect for me as well..
But something like tear my Heart apart when I saw it. I try to hide it with my smile and laughter..
I screams and shouts.. But it won't change anything..
And I know it well!
I imagine.. How did you feel when you said.. ' I DO!'
I wanna see how was your face, how your eyes reflect..
Its only me who can see.. Are you really happy or not with that.

My mind is not with me right now.. Its all over the place.. Anywhere.. Everywhere..
Questions.. Questions.. And questions..
And no one able to answer all of those questions!

How come my band members could play those all broken heart songs that I should sing! Damn it! They really know how I feel!
My tears just fell down without something I couldn't explain about it!
Oooh GOD it feel hurt so bad!
One thing..
What stiLl make me smile.. Your messages that I received today!
It is! Today is your big day.. But you still sent me those messages.. Told me how much you miss and how much love me!
I must happy with that? Or I must feel sorry about that?
Well.. Both!
One thing I only know..
You could be with someone else..
but your LOVE is for me..
Give for me
Just for me!
Am I selfish?
Or sounds like... Mmmmm..
whatever...
I don't care!
Your heart, your love is mine..
but still..
I can't hold my tears!!!!
Hiks :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(

* during my short break when I work.. Feel so...... Fuckin annoying!
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