SMILE, Rheta!!!!!

Oooooooops!!!!!!!

Once again.. One more time.. 

I feel so broken heart.. 

To watch those things.. 

It's like a sharp knife stabbing right through my heart when it still beating.. And tear it apart into pieces.. It bleeding.. 

It's like something choke me up, when i still breathing.. And i feel like breathless..

I can't breath...

It's like a cramp on my stomach.. It's painful.. No its butterflies in my stomach.. It's pain!

It's like a hammer punch on my head when it still thinking.. And make brain stop working..

My brain freeze.. So do the world frozen!

It's like shard of broken glass in the eyes when it still blinking...And the eyes can't  even closed..

Tears drop.. Red tears.. Blood tears.. 

It's like steel nails, nailing my feet when i still walking.. Its sculpting, glued.. 

I cant move.. Im like a statue 

It is HURT! 

And i can't blame anyone for this..

It's my fault...

My roomate said.. 

Stop searching.. You will get hurt even more..

I didn't search it.. It came to me.. 

stop searching and it will just come..  Like it just happened!

Can i get through this ? All alone?

Yes alone!!! Cuz they dont understand.. Only me understand my self..

I will.. And i can do.. Well.. I do..

I CAN do this!

I Can get through this all alone.. 

Like what i said.. I will STOP! In time..

When i can't take it anymore..

But for now.. Here i am..  

Smiling.. 

Dear GOD.. Please... Just make the pain lighter..

I will not ask an easy life.. Or painless life..

But.. Give me the strength to get through 

The strength..  To keep the pain

The strength to keep my head up high..

The strength to always put smile when my heart cry

The strenght to be patient! 

I can be STRONG!

As always :)

SMILE